Isle of Skye

We began in Edinburgh. Got right off of the train and started walking to our hostel. Lily didn't know what a hostel was...I believe she thought it was like a hotel. So when we went into our twelve person room she began to freak out about bunking up with strangers. My bunk was right next to the door so I assured her that the killer would go for me cause it would be easy to haul my butt out of there. We all stayed up making jokes about how sketchy hostels are. Lily was so nervous she wanted to share my bunk. Despite her fears we all got a good nights sleep and were ready to go the next morning. We loaded ourselves onto the bus and set off for the Highlands.

i don't remember much of the bus ride. It was a joke amongst my friends that I could fall asleep at any moment. Eddie, my bus buddy, had a great time messing with me while I was asleep. I'm glad I provided them with some entertainment for the long ride. It was a really nice bus so it wasn't bad like you think it would be. The tour leader knew enough of the old Scottish tales and history to keep us entertained for hours. I also relished in the fact that he wore a kilt very practically. The scenery was unmatchable. Nothing can compare the the green that is grown in Scotland. We stopped at a couple different spots on our way north such as the Castle of Dune and Loch Ness. When we were at Loch Ness our small tour group got a little freaky and some people decided to go swimming in the freezing lake in their undies. If you count a thong as an undie.

The ruins of the castles' we stopped at were majestic.  They stood out from the massive amount of green.     We also stopped at a distillery where we learned about Scottish whiskey. Personally, I don't care for the stuff but it was still intriguing seeing how it is made. The tour guide purchased a bottle for the whole group to sip on while we made our way to the Isle of Skye hostel in our bus...I'm pretty sure a couple people were drunk by the time we got there.

The hostel was actually really nice. Four people to a room. We all roomed with our friends. An added bonus was the awesome theme that they gave the room. Lord of the Rings!!! I slept in the bunk that was called Pippin. It was kinda ironic because I we all had the similar personalities to the characters we got called at the hostel.

There was only one bar in town. It had a beautiful view of a small marina and mountains.  We walked from our hostel to the bar. It took less then ten minutes. The food was amazing!! I tried haggis for the first time and actually enjoyed it! Black pudding is disgusting though, so a word to the wise don't eat that. I mean if you really must try it go for it, but you won't enjoy it.

The bar was small and only a few other locals were there. Since we had nothing else to do the rest of the night we grabbed a spot, ate, and then ordered our favorite drinks. My drink of choice was the Smirnoff Ice or the WKD blue. I only had a couple of drinks before everything changed.......

I didn't come to Scotland thinking this was possible or could ever happen but it did and I wouldn't trade it for the world. While we were sitting in the corner enjoying our drinks we notice a large group of guys come into the bar.  I'm talking around thirty very ruff, tough looking characters. Then I remember something the tour guide said..."This town is known to harbor many of the Navy's sailors, so be careful all you women at the bars because they have been known to haul girls away with them over their shoulders.." These must be the Navy men I assumed. They piled into the bar which became more like a club because of the number of people and a DJ had begun to play some rockin' songs.

I didn't hear the music when I saw him, I didn't hear what Lily was trying to tell me, and I didn't see Eddie staring at me staring at him.  I can't describe love at first sight. Sounds foolish to say but that's all I can call what happened to me. I saw him and the next thing I know I am leaning over to Lily saying "I claim him." I still don't know why I said it but even though I knew I would never talk to him or that nothing could ever happen I still just wanted them to know he was mine. If your thinking right about now that that doesn't make any sense at all, you are probably right. Anyways, A couple more drinks I'm tipsy and in need of a refill. The music is playing loud everyone is having a good time. The bar is packed. I tell Eddie I will be right back and that I'm going for another. He's like a brother to me and said ok but gave me a look that said you better come back soon or I will find you missy. Eddie has wonderful facial expressions.

I walk up to the bar, pushing my way through the crowd. I pick the only spot open to buy a drink and lightly shove two people aside to squeeze in. I ask the bartender for a blue. While she is getting it I take notice of my surroundings and realize that to my right practically touching my shoulder is the man that I wanted. The one I said I "claimed".  Right when I turned to look at him to get a good look at his face, discreetly of course, I realize he had his head turned and was looking down at me.  I must have gone very red.  He spoke to me. It took me a moment to realize that the guy was talking to me. He said something along the lines of "You are not from around here are you?" I was not, how obvious was that fact. I think my big blonde hair and American accent gave that away. I answered him but it was hard to hear over the music. He leaned in close to talk to me and I could feel his breath on my ear. At this point I  have my drink in hand and should have been heading back to my table to see my friends but I was stunned into a conversation with a charming handsome man, so of course I wasn't going anywhere. He asked me all the typical questions like where are you from? And are you enjoying yourself? I don't know where I got the courage to but I flirted back with him. Heck, I didn't even know I knew how to flirt. I was tipsy though. I finally realize how long I had been at the bar. I didn't want Eddie to kill me for making him worry but I didn't want to leave him. I lean close to him and tell him I am with more Americans in the corner and ask if he would join us. Next thing I know I'm walking back to our table with my hand in his and a huge smile on my face. Lily's eye's just about popped out of their sockets. Eddie's face held the expression of "Oh no, I knew this would happen." Ken, well he is in love with Lily and just played off anything she said or did. Lily didn't feel the same though. It was tense situation.

His name is James, or as his mates call him Jamie. He is tall with dark hair, dark eyes and an adorable smile. He is muscular but not the extreme, just the right amount ladies ;). We sat down at the table and I made introductions. Eddie tried to spark up conversation to include him and he made pleasantries with them but then turned his attention solely on me. Eddie was shooting me warning glances while Lily was giving me a huge thumbs up and mouthing 'nice'. Jamie was sitting on the table bench right next to me but sat astride it so that he was clearly facing me. We continued to get to know each other. His hand had migrated from my hand to my leg. I played with his fingers while we talked. He had the best accent I have ever heard. A cross between british and Scottish. Very "posh", as his mates would say. He was wearing a blue shirt and jeans. I'm surprised that I can remember small details like that.

Lily was relentless drilling him to say things just to hear him speak. We both have a love for the British accent. When I asked him what he was doing around these parts he stood up put his hand over his heart and said very officially "I am a member of Her Majesty's Royal Navy." Lily and I were grinning from ear to ear. He made it sound like he really was one of the few and the proud. He sat back down and right away and leaned in really close to me. Eddie was giving me looks of worry. We were both thinking the same thing no doubt. That thing was, what about Frank. Lily knew about Frank but was fully supporting my crush. We continued to talk and have some drinks. I didn't get to drunk, just the right amount. I was probably more drunk off of Jamie then the alcohol. When I had finished my drink he asked me if I would like another. I said yes and was about to go to the bar with him but he told me he'd get it and be right back. Although he said it British style, "Dunna worry urself luv, I whe'l get it." Then he gave me a wink and walked away waiting to the last second to take my his hand off of mine.  I was too stunned by him to tell him what drink I wanted. It didn't matter though. Once he was gone I turned to Ken, Lily, and Eddie.

Oh my god. That was all Lily could say. Eddie on the other hand said something along the lines of, "Damn you really don't know what you are doing do you? Whatever you want to do I will support however I am not gonna sit here and watch you get raped." Eddie and I preceeded to have a discussion about how it's not rape if you want it. We were joking of course. To all you reading this you must think I'm stupid for letting him get my drink without me watching it the whole time. I'm not stupid, I wasn't alone. I trusted my friends to look out for me. Jamie came back shortly with a WKD blue. My drink of choice throughout the whole trip. He must have remembered when I took a sip and said yummy. I never had a guy buy me a drink before. I felt quite proud. My confidence was up. He settled in close to me on the bench again and we locked eyes. I said thanks for the drink. He said, "It's not everyday I have the chance to buy a beautiful girl a drink." Flattered, I decided to stroke his ego a little bit. I said something playful back at him which lead to a very straight up conversation. It went something like this.

"You know I saw you walk into the bar and I gotta tell you I thought you were very cute."
"Oh really? Well when I saw you standing at the bar I thought just wow."
"Really? you probably didn't even notice me"- I know a stupid thing to say but I was drunk.
<I can remember all this cause I have excellent photographic memory, in case you were wondering>
"Well obviously I noticed you cause I talked to you silly."
"That you did. You made me very happy. I had my eye on you."
"Well now I have both of mine on you and also my hand so I think I'm winning." He said with a sly smile.
"Oh is that what you think."- I couldn't think I was to happy that he was paying so close attention to me. And yes his had still rested on my thigh while the other one pulled back my hair so he could speak into my ear. It was very loud in the bar. Looking for something to say I decided to ask a good question.
"How old are you, I'm curious. You are a helicopter engineer in the Navy, but you look so young!"-That's right! He's a fucking helicopter engineer.
"I'm nineteen actually."
"NO!'
"Uh yea"
"Noooo"
"hahaha you want to see my license?" he whipped it out.
"That's amazing"
"I know it's never proper to ask a girl but since I told you mine, what's your age?" He smiled at me. I smiled back. I leaned over close to his ear and whispered 19.

Somehow, from the first moment I saw him I knew he and I would just be right together. Call it crazy I don't care but it's true. Around two in the morning we decide to leave the bar.  Jamie didn't want to leave me though. He said it was dark and didn't like that we were walking. He told me he wanted to walk me to my door. I asked him "wouldn't you rather stay with your friends?" He said they could live without him for a bit. I said, "ok if you are sure." I hesitated. I knew where this was going. Eddie did too. The only thing I could do was be straight with him. So I said,"I'm not gonna kiss you."

Jamie's face didn't change. "Why not?"
"Because I don't make it a habit of kissing men I meet in bars.." -I didn't wanna explain Frank. He didn't need to know. I wasn't gonna see him again anyways. That thought in itself was devastating. I wanted him to walk me to my hostel.
"Ok well I'm still coming with you. Perhaps you will change your mind darling." He was confident but not cocky. I liked that a lot.
"I don't think so but I won't stop you from trying." I just laughed.

We got all the way back to the hostel. Ken and Eddie were waiting for us girls to stop chatting with Jamie outside the door.  Lily decided to be a friend and get them to go inside with her leaving me alone with Jamie for a few minutes. Eddie didn't like the idea but there was a window right besides the door and I noticed four eyes peeping at me once they were inside.

Jamie and I stood there playing with each others hands, not wanting to let go. I said something like, "I don't want to not see you again you know. I really like you.
"I really like you too and I promise you will see me again. You are going back to the bar tomorrow yea?"
"Yea it's the only place in town" I said with a laugh.
"I know. So it will be easy to find you. My mates and I are going there tomorrow dressed in togas. It's gonna be quite a party. I want to see you there."
"Well I'll be there, just look for the group of americans. We tend to stand out."
"Well I don't know about all americans but you definitely stand out in a crowd." He was charming me.
"I'm glad I stand out to you. You definitely stood out to me." We were standing really close almost hugging.
"But you won't kiss me? why? what could the harm be?" He said teasing. I didn't know what to say so I repeated what I said before plus a story how Eddie would judge me and how I'm gonna see him again so maybe he will have something to look forward to.  He replied saying he won't be able to concentrate at work tomorrow because he will be thinking of seeing me at night. It was a good place to end on.

We said goodnight and I gave him a peck on the neck because I wasn't tall enough to reach his cheek. He gave me a big smile. We said goodbye. He added I will see you tomorrow. He gave me his cell number. Said goodbye again. Then I watched him walk away waving and turned to go inside. Lily was waiting for me. So were the few other girls in our small tour group. We talked about what happened and rated how much he liked me and I told them what he said about the party tomorrow night. Lily was super excited. The boys were in bed but I knew they would be willing to go again the next day. Everyone was exhausted though and after the best night of partying we all rested well.  Before I went to bed though I said "I will probably never see him again." The thought devastated me for some reason. I thought about Frank and our love and how little interest I was turning out to be to him. How he wasn't worried about me at all being alone in another country. How he favored his best friend over me. How he was unromantic. He just didn't compare. I didn't want to hurt him, which is why I refused to kiss Jamie.

The next day we woke up ready to go. Only a couple people had hangovers. I was not one of them luckily. I knew my limits. We did amazing things that day. We swam in a waterfall, hiked a mountain, got crammed into a telephone booth, explored a small town an hour away, and even saw a scot naked! Please take note that they really are serious when they say they don't wear anything under their kilts. Not many of them wear kilts anymore though. Every time Lily and I saw one though we would get so excited. We all craved the culture. Knowledge of the history and the old traditions. We definitely got what we came for plus extra. As the Brits would say, "Bloody Brilliant!" but I guess that's a lie because Jamie said that the english don't say that much at all. Lily was asking him all night to say small phrases just to hear him speak. By the way, we are both HUGE Harry Potter fans so we did ask him about that a lot. He must have really liked me to put up with all our questions about his accent.

Even though we had an amazing day, I could only think about the night. I was sure I wouldn't see him. Well not sure, I had hope but no high expectations. Had he really felt what I had felt? He implied he did, acted like he did but I couldn't be sure. Eddie and I had a discussion about the pros and cons of seeing him again. Eddie is a philosophy major. All I could think about was, if I saw him again, would I kiss him? I had a choice to make and it wasn't easy. They always say follow your heart. I had forgotten I had one until I saw him. It stopped. I made my decision though on the bus ride that day what I would do if he did come back to see me. I waited for the night to come and our walk to the bar seemed longer than usual. I was nervous. We walked in early, not many people were there. We had another amazing dinner and then went to the corner again to share drinks. And I sat there. Nervous and waiting.

Let's all wear Kilts!!!

The plane ride wasn't that bad. Maybe that's because I'm really good at sitting for hours and being patient. Also, Ipod's are a god send! When I arrived I immediately took a taxi to my hotel. The program that I had sent my school application to had told me to fly in two days earlier than I was supposed to so they paid for me to stay in a hotel in the heart of Glasgow.  The hotel was called the Carlton George. I stayed in my room for two days sleeping and watching some TV. I unfortunately had a terrible case of jet lag. Scotland is eight hours ahead of California.

While I was in my hotel I completely took advantage of the complimentary minibar and complimentary whiskey, scotch, and sherry.  I decided to take advantage of the fact that in Scotland you are legal to drink at 18.  I learned that I didn't have much of a taste for whisky. Scotch is alright but only just.  Sherry, now that's a good drink to sip on.  It wasn't to bad of a taste but the affects of the alcohol will really creep up on you.  I accidentally got pissed drunk and spent some time throwing up.  I think the puking was also an effect of the jet lag though.  Even though I got sick I still was having a good time, because all I could think about was how amazing it was that I was in Scotland!!!

I took a cab back to the airport on the second day early in the morning to meet up with the University's shuttle.  Their I met a lot of the other study abroad students.  In fact that day I met my "family".  We were all nervous and piled into a van on our way to Stirling.  I was still feeling jet lagged and was trying to be as social without falling asleep on someone.  It was on this van ride that I met Lily. We were sitting next to each other for the ride. She was outgoing and super friendly. We immediately connected. When we finally arrived and got our room assignments we were both bummed that we were in separate rooms. I thought I might never see her again but we had to much in common to let go of one another.  She became my best friend.

Meeting my flat mates was nerve racking but I was lucky. I got the best flat mate ever and his name was Eddie! He is the most friendly, outspoken, funny person you will ever meet.  He became like my brother.  Also he had a way about him that strongly suggested that he was gay. Later I found out he was bisexual. It was perfect because he was the best guy friend I could ask for. He always gave me good advice and looked after me the rest of the trip.

Myself and five others quickly formed a strong bond. We were a family. I had always wanted to feel part of a family. I never thought I would. It was like a dream come true.  I was the baby of the family. Our friend Kim was the mom, always telling us where we have to go and what we should do or try. We loved her for that.  Lily and Eddie became like twins. Both equally as protective of me and both hilarious.

The first night at the University all the study abroad kids went to a nearby local bar.  We got to know each other better and played some pool.  Since it was during the summer there weren't many local students around so we Americans took over the pub.  On Wednesdays and Saturdays the bar turned into a night club! I had never been dancing in a real night club before. Now I know why they say "it's so fun, it should be illegal"! I tell you the Scots know how to party. I wasn't sure what I was expecting for them to play for music but the DJ was amazing and totally busted out the best recent hits.

The first week we all found our groups and settled into our flats and got to know our way around Stirling.  My room in the flat had a fantastic view overlooking the loch.  It took me awhile to get used to saying loch instead of lake.  The loch was right on campus and was full of swans! It was like I had traveled into a dream... All my fears vanished within the first couple of days of staying at the University. I had made amazing friends, I had a wonderful flat, and I was going to travel all over Scotland.

We were not limited to Scotland though. Lily and I decided to take the train and go to London! We planned it within three days of meeting one another. Eddie hopped on board as well. Before we went to London though Lily, I, Eddie, and our other friend (Ken) decided to take an excursion to the Isle of Skye through a tour group called Backpackers. It was the Isle of Skye trip that affected me the most. After that I was changed. I don't know how it happened, I never thought it would happen, but somehow it happened....I learned the most traveling with my close friends all over the highlands of Scotland, only to reach the Isle of Skye and be completely blown away! I am still in shock, five months later, of what happened to me on that one weekend trip. Scotland, you got me good.

How It Came To Be.

First off, I think it is important to begin with a couple of simple facts. The first being that I have just turned 20. Second, I have only been in one relationship. Third, I travel the world.  The third reason is why I am currently a single girl.  I grew up in California (The Golden State). I am adopted and proud of it for some weird reason. I just prefer it this way I guess. My parents first sent me away at 15. Don't get the wrong idea, I wanted to go! It was my first solo trip. Before that they had always been there. Paris, London, Ireland, Mexico and Canada were already under my belt at that point; however, I wasn't completely prepared for three weeks of travel without a trusted companion or guide. Still, I was anxious to go.  I traveled to Costa Rica where I met up with a group of teens from across the world to embark on a three week adventure surfing the Pacific and Caribbean coast.  It was certainly an experience. I almost died white water rafting and chasing a pig.  Gotta love those near death experiences, they make the most entertaining stories.  Anyways, that trip was awhile ago but I mention it because that's when I became truly independent. After that I continued on with my studies and finished High School like any good straight A student (not that I'm bragging).

It was my junior year of high school that I met Frank. I hadn't planned to "meet" anyone until college because I was to focused on sports, school, and friends; however, he grew on me and I couldn't help but to fall in love with him. I waited a year for that boy to ask me out and when he finally did nothing was the same. He became a part of my small, fucked up family.

My mother is a workaholic and my father an alcoholic. I guess it's a typical family situation for most; however, not for Frank. Frank was raised as a Mormon. That's right, a freaking Mormon. He's not a Mormon anymore though. Apparently you are not "eligible" to serve the church if you have pre-marital sex.  I would feel bad about screwing up his standing with his church but I know, for him, it was worth it.

I went away for college after high school. I didn't want to stay in town because of my dad's drinking problem. I wanted a change of scenery but unfortunately I had to leave Frank behind. We stayed together that whole year though, doing a long distance relationship. You should know I am a very loyal person.

I got screwed over in college. I shared one room with two girls. Both were Hispanic and bonded quickly. I became the outsider. It was funny cause they didn't know that I speak some Spanish. When they had their little "private" conversations I actually did know what they were saying. It was also a coed dorm. That made everything all the more interesting. The bathroom stalls where not very private and neither were the showers. Being open minded and okay with almost anything, I wasn't bothered much; however, we all had our awkward moments in that one shared bathroom.

I came home from that college the next year to attend a city college. There were many reasons to come home. I missed Frank, it wasn't the right school for me, I was bored of the people, and I found out just how sick my dad was getting from his drinking problem. Although I came back to help out around the house and to work on rebuilding a connection with my dad, I soon became bored. Also there is only so much you can do for someone before you realize that you have to take care of yourself as well.  I needed to get away again, just for a bit. I needed my life to mean something again.

Frank asked me to take a trip with him.  I had never been so happy. We had been together for two years and he had never been out of the country. I was the exact opposite. After I graduated High School I had taken another trip with a group of girls from my senior class. It was just the five of us and a girl councilor who became more of a friend then an chaperon. We traveled to Fiji, Australia, New Zealand, and Hawaii. I had "sex on the beach" in two of those places. I know where your mind just went but I was talking about the drink! I was only 17 when I went on that trip but the drinking age was quite low in a couple places. I wasn't an underage drinker at the time but I couldn't resist trying a few while I was legal.  I experienced many new things on that trip. I went Bungee Jumping, Zorbing (you roll down a hill in a big ball), Mud bathing, Luging, and did a bit of clubbing. It was a fun time.  I was in Australia looking at the Opera house when I heard Michael Jackson had died. That's a random memory.

Back to topic. Frank asked me to take a trip with him.  We decided on Egypt but then changed it to Italy because we thought Venice would be romantic.  As the time came to buy our tickets though, Frank let me down. He said that instead of going with me on our vacation he was gonna go on a cruise with his family.  It sounded like he would have a great time....Me on the other hand, I needed to get away and he literally bailed on me last minute. This is about the time Frank and I started having trouble with our relationship. This and other things were just not good anymore.

I was desperate to get away for awhile so I decided to apply to study abroad. There had been one place that I had always wanted to go but had forgotten about over time. Scotland. I applied after the deadline and was not expecting to hear back from the University. By some miracle they called and told me that they wanted me in the program. This was literally 6 days before I was to leave.  I don't know what I was thinking or how I did it but I was off again solo, my bags all packed and ready for anything. I would be spending the next month in Scotland.  This is where my story really begins.... ;)